Nikita Salih
Over the past couple of years man kind has been destroying mother nature. We have come to a stage where humans have absolutely no respect for animals. I think it's important people realise that we are not the only one's on this earth and that we don't own it. Animals have rights over this planet as much as we humans do. Therefore i disagree with people that think that it is a waste of time and resources to save endangered species as these animals are endangered because of us.
We humans are the one's responsible for the destruction of the homes of these endangered animals , we are the reason they're endangered in the first place. Therefore it is our responsibility to take care of these animals, provide them with their needs and save them. We should take care of them the same way we would if someone we love is ill or the same way we would if we've destroyed someone else's home or property. We would have to repay them back. In the same way we're suppose to give these animals their home back and give them the love they deserve.
We humans beings are intelligent and stronger one's so we are the one's who have got to be helping the wealer ones. It's the same as how we help humans who are retarted or humans who can't speak for themselves. Do we just go and destroy their house and kill them? No we don't, we help them and it's no difference for animals. We are the fittest so we have to help them out.
There are so many other things we waste out time and money on. Like buying branded clothes and other unnecessary things just to show off when we can use this money to actually help animals who are living things, like us and deserve the same respect as us because this is their planet too.
According to you people survival of the fittest is natures way. Do we go around killing retards or the handicaped just because we are stronger? That wouldn't be fair. The same way saying that animals are weaker then us so it doesn't matter is being selfish. This is not just our planet and just because we're the fittest doesn't mean we get to pick on these animals.
Yes it is true that we're not responsible for all the extinctions but no it is not true that we are not responsible for all the animals that are endangered right now. We are the one's killing them for our wants. We don't think twice about how they feel why? Just because we know they can't speak their mind? Just because we know they can't do anything about it anyways just because they're weaker?
You say that humans deserve more attention than animals. Well ofcourse you need to help humans who are less fortunate but that doesn't mean you help only the humans you can donate money for both humans and animals. Atleast humans have a say in things. These animals don't even have that. So can we only think about are species when there are other species who this planet belongs to as well.
We humans are the one's responsible for the destruction of the homes of these endangered animals , we are the reason they're endangered in the first place. Therefore it is our responsibility to take care of these animals, provide them with their needs and save them. We should take care of them the same way we would if someone we love is ill or the same way we would if we've destroyed someone else's home or property. We would have to repay them back. In the same way we're suppose to give these animals their home back and give them the love they deserve.
We humans beings are intelligent and stronger one's so we are the one's who have got to be helping the wealer ones. It's the same as how we help humans who are retarted or humans who can't speak for themselves. Do we just go and destroy their house and kill them? No we don't, we help them and it's no difference for animals. We are the fittest so we have to help them out.
There are so many other things we waste out time and money on. Like buying branded clothes and other unnecessary things just to show off when we can use this money to actually help animals who are living things, like us and deserve the same respect as us because this is their planet too.
According to you people survival of the fittest is natures way. Do we go around killing retards or the handicaped just because we are stronger? That wouldn't be fair. The same way saying that animals are weaker then us so it doesn't matter is being selfish. This is not just our planet and just because we're the fittest doesn't mean we get to pick on these animals.
Yes it is true that we're not responsible for all the extinctions but no it is not true that we are not responsible for all the animals that are endangered right now. We are the one's killing them for our wants. We don't think twice about how they feel why? Just because we know they can't speak their mind? Just because we know they can't do anything about it anyways just because they're weaker?
You say that humans deserve more attention than animals. Well ofcourse you need to help humans who are less fortunate but that doesn't mean you help only the humans you can donate money for both humans and animals. Atleast humans have a say in things. These animals don't even have that. So can we only think about are species when there are other species who this planet belongs to as well.
Finally i would like to say that people who are civilized would agree with me. Agree thet we should share and be considerate which means helping others no matter what species they are and treating every living thing equally. We shouldn't take advantage of our strength instead help others by using it to improve the planet.
Feedback:
This essay was awarded a low ‘B’ grade. Nikita’s writing is fluent in most places and often linguistically accurate. Her writing is generally clear and she has well sequenced paragraphs and develops her arguments methodically.
She has a good opening in which she takes a broad view of the issue and then clearly states her opinion.
She tells us what she thinks at the start of her paragraphs and then proceeds to tell us why she holds that view in the rest of the paragraph. She has some intelligent analogies and examples. For instance, when she talks about how it is an even greater waste of time and resources to spend money on branded clothes. She then goes on to make some effective counter-arguments. She rounds off her essay with a brief concluding paragraph in which she quickly summarises what she thinks about the issue.
She could have got a higher grade if she was more ambitious with her vocabulary. There were some errors in punctuation – especially in her use of the apostrophe. She uses a lower case ‘i’ when referring to herself – which I’m sure she knows is incorrect. She also needs to eliminate errors in spelling as far as possible. She could also attempt a few more complex sentence structures in her essay.
She has a good opening in which she takes a broad view of the issue and then clearly states her opinion.
She tells us what she thinks at the start of her paragraphs and then proceeds to tell us why she holds that view in the rest of the paragraph. She has some intelligent analogies and examples. For instance, when she talks about how it is an even greater waste of time and resources to spend money on branded clothes. She then goes on to make some effective counter-arguments. She rounds off her essay with a brief concluding paragraph in which she quickly summarises what she thinks about the issue.
She could have got a higher grade if she was more ambitious with her vocabulary. There were some errors in punctuation – especially in her use of the apostrophe. She uses a lower case ‘i’ when referring to herself – which I’m sure she knows is incorrect. She also needs to eliminate errors in spelling as far as possible. She could also attempt a few more complex sentence structures in her essay.
- Mr. Roberts
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