Lets face it: There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England, French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth. If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught. If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!? Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and drive on parkways. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it out. And a bell is only heard once it goes! English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all). That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible. And why is it that when I wind up my watch it starts but when I wind up this story it ends?
Some food for thought: Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racistWhy are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed? Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
33 comments:
Oh my god. This is So TRUE its almost not gut-wrenchingly hilarious!! All of it makes perfect sense!
I especially liked the one 'If someone tells you there are 1 billion stars in the sky you would believe them, but if they told you that the wall is wet with paint, you would touch it to make sure.'
Though what I cant figure out is that if we humans realise these are, albeit comical, 'errors' why hasn't anything been done to change or 'correct' them? And also what this poem or documentary doesn't mention is all the unecessary silent letters in most of our words like; knife, know, psychology, and not to mention Lake Mbosco in Congo!!
The key sentence in this passage is that words were not made by computers but by humans. And of course humans are not perfect and they should never be because then where would the balance in life go?
Over 100 years ago, English was spoken differently, so who's to say that in a hundred years from now, English would remain the same. Humans aren't perfect but they can achieve the perfection of whatever they pursue. :p
LOLL!!! ahahaha hilarious! and so true! I've always reveled at the oddity that is the English language, i love it, but it's SO confusing sometimes, as can be seen in this passage. But awesome way to shed a humorous light on the rib-tickling silliness of English :) I don't mind it, but I wish it had a reason, ah well creativity doesn't always have to make sense i guess.
LOL i've come across this before, when our form tutor read it out to entertain us in the 5th grade.
It makes perfect sense, and it shows how creative humans are, with a touch of weird whackiness that only we can have.
The english language IS odd, and though this is the case, hey, it's too late to change stuff anyway :P
That actually made sense. I don't think those statements could be classified as being invalid.
Adding to the list, there is no butter on the butterflies and strawberries dont resemble a straw nor are they made up of straw. Other weird questions could be that why do We have the word Tea when We can pronounce it just by using the letter T? The same goes for the word You and the letter U and Eye and I. Is there something special about the pronounciation of one or is it just to differentiate between the two? Which one is the original key? The key on your keyboard or the key you use to open a door? Can you explain the difference between a drawer, a drawer and a drawer?
Hilarious, rather confusing, is'nt it?
Hahahahahhahahahahahah!!!! Loooll
Everything made perfect sense……And I used to think that French was weird.
Humans are sooooooooo wacky!!
Well I guess its just meant to be this way. Balance you could say.
For all the endless amount of synonyms and phrases, you have astounding amounts of oddities and confusion...
Lol...nice.
It really is very creative.
I wonder what people had in mind when they actually started forming the english language.
HAHAHAHA! VERY TRUE AND HILLARIOUS!
I think people from Holand should be called holes so the poles don't feel hurt :P
Sir, don't the french call fries "American Fries" ? I know in england they are called chips, and other places called "French Fries", but I remember somebody telling me the french call their fries "American Fries" ? :S
hahahahaha, i loved the "NO" ham in the hamburger. Everyone says that they are eating a hamburger, but they actually eating a chicken/beef burger.
But it is true, we take way too much for granted
This is absolutely terrific (not terrible) and a hillarious piece of writing. I actually used to believe that hamburger contained ham and guinea pig is a pig until a few years back!
English is indeed a funny language :)
...AHAHAHA, I think I may have freaked out the people next door with my incessant laughter :'D That was so brilliant akljgklaj.
...
Very true though 8|a Especially the Holland thing. If Poland = Poles, then Holland = Holes. Where the heck did Dutch come from!? Shouldn't it be called Dutchland?
...
Funny story, I used to thing Deutschland was pronounced Dutchland. >: I was horribly shot down when I realized it was actually Germany and pronounced Doichland.
Oh, English.
It's funny how English doesn't make sense but everyone understands it.
All these statements and phrases are used by us in our daily lives, yet no one slows down to realize what paradoxes we've created, how nonsensical so many of our everyday sayings are; just proves how even English is taken for granted! No one has ever 'questioned' the correctness of this language; just blindly accepted. But what can we do to change it? No one would be able to come out of their comfort zone and adapt to changes; people are used to pronouncing 11 as 'eleven' and not onety one, calling people from Holland 'Dutch' and not 'Holes' (that would be extremely funny though). I wonder if we just have to accept all these misfits in our language, and continue speaking in such contradictions? Or will anything ever be done?
Ahh well, truth be told, this was extremely funny! And mind-opening.. if that makes sense.
"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? "
^
AMAZING, LOL.
the contradiction that the English language is :P
Although i still can't figure out what the motive actually WAS behind using such confounding terminology..
Hahahhaha!
I loved it.
This is simply a proof of the brilliancy of the human mind...
to be able to form such a complex, nonsensical, unique language; yet, to be able to use it in our everyday language.
Well that was hilarious - and it's funny how barely any of us stop and think twice about some of the things we say so often - such as "Parking on driveways."
Haha I've read this before... and it still amazes me, the oddity of the English language. :)
hahahaha. I just cant stop laughing. But its true. I mean, seriously, why dont we call people from Holland, 'Holes'?
Well, if someone would like to ponder over this 'errors', he is all welcome to do it and find answers or whatever.
But I think English is still great and I wouldnt want to change it. I'm still going to park on driveways and hear the bell go.
And ofcourse, all of us can use some humour in our lives. We should simply sit back and enjoy these little errors of the language.
It's amazing how many things you realize that are true only after you read them. I'm sure all of us have thought of some of these, but here we are reading example after example going "OMG! This is so true!!!" about something that we already knew, yet never thought about. =D
hahhahaha :) ive actually read this before in a mail or something!!! veryy awesome!!! i guess language is all about creativity we use it all the time in our descriptive essays and they really help in creating moods. personally this amazing language would never have been this awesome without all these odd touches here and there!! :D
True, strange, and, surprisingly, understandeable. English is a funny language, even to people who do not understand it, because it is one of the simplest to learn.
"Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?" - HAHAHA! I'd say no!
"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" - I've loved that quote since forever! Haha what a coincidence :)
I really like this post. It's amusing and so true. It really makes you think who created the language and on what basis!
It's ironic too, cause I got a message just that day saying
English is not an easy language. See for yourself and answer the questions below using only the words YES or NO:
1) ___ I am stupid.
2) ___ I am illiterate.
3) ___ I have problems.
Hahaha!
Hahaha! That was awesome, :P
This is the beauty of English, isn't it? When we look at it this way it sounds so strange and idiotic yet we use it day after day without realising the contradictions!
And LOL at Myra's post! xP
I love this post....hilarious and true :)
Never thought of English like this before!
Completely true! I actually LOL'D at these too.
LMAO!
hahahaha this was remarkably hilarious xD
English has got to my faviroute language from all the ones I know.
(I know Jamaican, Hindi,Urdu and English)
Comparing it to others you relaize just how retarded it can really seem, yet it still is able to be the most useful and adaptive of all. I just wish they'd change the "English" as a subject to a more suitable name.
Cause really, We already know english ! Oh and what do french people call their "French" lessons ?
incredibly trueee! i was actually laughing at some of them!
it really gets you thinking about what a funny language we speak and why people have created such amusing words!
hahaah!
I've never even thought of these contradictions.
Very interesting how humans thought of these!
LOL!
That was a fun read.
I think thinking about this too much could drive one insane. And the sad, or maybe not, fact is, that we "take English for granted". It really does make a lot of sense when you ponder over this entertaining article. What it can come down to is, can I make my own English? Provided that others have created the English we speak, and write today, English as we know it.
Just goes to show WHY in 200 years' time, people will be speaking a completely different English than the one we speak now, with new eccentricities and all.
LOL. This was an entertaining read.
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?" Why not?
I loved this post and English really is a funny language yet the best.
Aisha Bashir
10g2.
Haha I found a few more and felt like sharing them :P
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"?
A very enlightening read ,no doubt. I must say though, that these oddities are exactly what keep English from turning into Newspeak (1984, ring a bell?). I can almost imagine Syme sitting with Winston on a canteen table, under the watchful eye of a telescreen, excitedly saying to him, ''For the Eleventh Edition of the Newspeak Dictionary, we've made the wise decision of replacing the term 'eleven' with the phrase 'onety one' because if you think about it in the spirit of Newspeak, you'll realise that the word 'eleven' is just so vague and confusing.''
oh god this is so true. I face these probems when i teach my kids english as a second language. Always asking, why the letter 'e' in the end of many many words is silent. it si really hard compared with a first language where all letters are to be pronounced and where all derivations are the same and to be applied on all groups of words. God bless english teachers
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