We often associate bullying with boys and a school environment. But cyber bullying today is rampant and, surprisingly, it can be girls who are most malicious. This very short article talks about some of the comments girls have posted on facebook, twitter, chat rooms, blogs, and other social networking sites. Has anyone from our school experienced this or knows someone who has? How do we deal with this? Why does it happen? I'm curious to hear your views. Click here to read: Cyber bullying
34 comments:
First!... Yay?
I read the top line on that site: "For girls, by girls" and suddenly wondered if you remember [Mr.Roberts] that there are a few guys in your class.
But I'll stick to the topic at hand, really, the only thing more depressing than the people who believe the things written about them or are offended by it are the bullies themselves. I mean honestly, how can they not having anything else better to do?
Yes, I'm guessing most of these facts are true but its blatantly obvious that this article was published to try to make parents pull their children away from the 'dangers' of the internet.
It may be 'rampant' but people should learn that the solution is exactly the same as if it were to happen in real life. Just shrug it off and move on!
I don't know anyone whose been cyberbullied. However, I have heard a lot of stories about cyberbullying is on the increase nowadays. I have the idea that the people who have been bullied will grow up to have low self esteem and confidence.
The reason for cyber bullying being carried out by girls mostly may be because of the various things that girls find to bully other girls about that boys don't really care about. For example, a girls hair or appearance in general may be mocked upon more than you would see in boys.
The ultimate truth is because the bully feels threathened or has been experiencing bullying from others. So they take the oppurtunity to show they are more powerful and authoritative over the weak ones.
To deal with this... well one could ignore it or stand up to it and show that they are more stronger than the bullies think.
This is a real shame!! cyber-bullies are so obviously cowards who don't have the courage to confront people. they take advantage of people who seem weaker and feel a sense of achievement, its just sick!!! its really sad how people always abuse a luxury, we are lucky that in our generation we have the internet but there are always those who misuse it!!!
I've known a few teens who've suffered from cyber bullying - and I can tell you it's quite harrowing for those who experience it. The comments may seem harmless enough: "You suck!" "That pic makes you look fat" "We hate you" and so on.
However, it's not always easy to ignore these remarks - especially if you are new or struggling to make friends in the first place.
Duwane, get in touch with your feminine side :D
LEOPARD SKIN PANTS! :D
Anyway... boy have I experienced bullying... and yes, mostly cyber bullying because those girls were too afraid to say anything to my face (I finally realised that months after going through the same s*** again and again). Haha that's pretty ironic considering the 'censorship' post :)
Yeah so I do agree that what girls can do hurts alot more than what guys can do. Why? Because a girl can hurt you emotionally whereas a guy just hurts you physically.
Luckily, these days, girls just hurt emotionally AND physically :)
hahaha, its really weird to hear that girl's actually bully each other, especially online. And its quite ironic because i am pretty sure that girls act as if they are the best of friends and stab each other behind their backs.
And i agree with Duwane, this is definitely a ploy to make parents "detach" their children from the "dangerous" cyber world. :P
I totally understand the point of this article, but seriously, people need to get a grip. [Yes, us girls especially]
The only reason someone would make a rude comment, or cyber 'bully' is because they probably don't have the guts to do it in real life. The 'victim' should take advantage of this, and should completely ignore what the bully says. This would definitely degrade the offender, since his/her main motive is to diss/hurt the victim, and if you completely ignore it, it would over throw your 'bully' :)
Hurtfull comments shouldn't be taken to heart, these people are either bored, have nothing better to do, or are just plain jealous. Just leave them be, ignore it, and they will stop. They probably get a kick out of hearing you complain or being depressed, so the best is to just not react at all.
If ignoring is hard, then just sum up a little courage, and tell them that what they say has no effect on you whatsoever, and they should stop wasting their time.
I find the whole concept of cyber-bullying ridiculous, and what's even worse is how so many of us succumb to it, and eventually end up taking it to heart and getting hurt; that really should cease.
Yeah Duwane, you need to find the 'inner-girl' within you, haha :P
I agree 100% with Duwane.
Which noob would take offence from pictures online? What sort of a life can the people who uploaded them themselves have?
The person who took offence, is stupider than the person who put it up. I mean, its internet, the whole thing is a lie.
Girls, of course, would take offence to things men find less disturbing, like someone posting a picture of you saying "your fat", we wouldn't care, but a girl would, and most likely, the no-lifers who uploaded the thing will spread the word, then the whole school is swarming with people exclaiming how they went online just to check a picture, then make fun of the person.
I agree with Duwane, first comment, best comment, and the most truthful.
How can pixels hurt your feelings? - Ignore, and move on, don't be a noob and stick to such mundane things.
This is pretty easy to solve.
Lets take online gaming for example gamers face idoiots who swear and throw the ugliest insults and totally ruin a good game.
Reason ? Because they can. Simple, they do it because they can do it and mostly get away with it.
Even i've done it (I was only 8) and when I look back onto it I only did it cause i could.
I wasn't surprised at the stats. I think every girl will agree: Girls can be and actually are a lot more vicious than guys towards each other. They know exactly how to hurt someone else using words and what everyone's soft spot is. The only difference is actually the irony concerning these cyber bullies - they're too much of cowards to say anything vis-a-vis to the girls they dislike. Internal politics in girl-world is hell!
But I generally have never really been convinced with the whole "people bully because they've been bullied" theory. I don't think so, I also don't believe that all bullies have had to had been under some sort of psychological or emotional pressure to become bullies. Some kids are just ill-mannered or far too naive that they're so heavily impressed with and influenced by the media. In almost every kids' movie (Hollywood that is), there's a bully, then there's the hero: the good guy. While the "nerd" appeals to most people in the end, the bully still appeals to others.
It's just sad what some girls have to go through because some other girls have no better way to pass their free time. The statements at the beginning of the article broke my heart by just reading them. I've never experienced, nor have I ever known someone who has experiences cyber bullying, so I cannot even begin to imagine what girls who go through this dreadful experience go through.
I agree with Myra.
Cyber-bullying HAS become very popular these days & it is found more amongst girls because Of the jealousy & insecurity that alot of girls feel.
Bullying other girls would make them feel more superior & powerful.
They want people to fear them & be known as ''popular'' just so they can feel good about themselves.
Most of these bullies MUST have experienced some kind of bullying but that does not give them the authority to attack others using spiteful words & posting pictures.
& also,as someone mentioned before,they ALWAYS get away with it.
You cant exactly stop cyber bullying BUT you can ignore it :)
HAHA
Some of those insults were funny!
In my opinion, girls prefer online bullying because they have a complete different personality when online. The online personality will usually be a total opposite of their true selves.
Most girls have more guts to do mean things online than in person. This is because they bring out their hidden personalities! For eg. girl 1 hates girl 2. she observes everything girl 2 does and hate starts to build up inside of her. she doesnt do anything to girl 2 though. The moment girl 1 gets online, Her hidden feelings become so strong that she finds it self satisfying to B**** about girl 2 to her heart's fill.
So things like, social networking sites etc. are the easiest ways to ruin a person's life! That is ofcourse, if you decide to feel affected and not ignore it.
Ahh cyber bullying, thats happened to me quite a few times, by the same people who bully me in real life. To be honest I feel sorry for them, because they think they're hot stuff doing it but they don't realize how stupid they actually look. It is almost hilarious how pathetic they are that they don't have anything better to do than observe and analyze every little part of me. Though this may sound conceded i think they're just jealous a lot of the time too. What of? i honestly have no clue!
And yes, it does get to me sometimes, but i'm usually over it an hour or so later. I don't think these girls realize that one day they are gonna have to grow up.
As for the girls getting bullied, all i can say is hang in there, keep your chin up, and you are the stronger ones.
bullying in general is a complete waste of life.
This article made me frown yet nod in agreement.
Girls may not be physically stronger, or even seen as more technologically updated, but in terms of bullying, I believe that girls are more vicious.
Though they dont opt for the obvious beating up and stealing of lunch money (a guy's usual ways of bullying), girls are sneakier and should I say, cattier, whenever they bully someone. Boys tend to go for the in-your-face method, which I'd rather take than a devious girl's ways. A girl works silently, turning everyone away from the said target, crushing the target's self-esteem, and the like. They rarely go for physical attacks, though it's not unheard of.
In a way, this non-violent bullying helps the bully conceal what's going on, since no physical evidence, no scars, no bruises are seen. Therefore, it is much harder for the victim to prove that she has been done wrong.
Girls are dangerous bullies among their peers, and frequently, it's fellow girls they bully. Whether it's for being a bit 'plump' or not having enough designer shoes, they always find a way to boost their own self-esteem by crushing others. They make themselves feel better by pulling everyone else down.
God, girls are frickin complicated. Whiny, sucky, insecure creatures. *shakes head*
And Duwane and Mo, lol, though I agree that most of the time, it's best to move on and get over it, girls just dont see it that way. That's why they're called GIRLS. they're more emotional, take things seriously really fast, and generally get easily affected by what their peers say.
Cyber-bullying may go as far as the bully taking a picture up the girl's skirt and spreading it on the internet. Imagine the degradation and embarrasment this would cause. The photo may be deleted from the site, but it will be stuck in the internet forever. All that's needed is to find the right way to get it back. The poor girl shall be scarred.
You guys dont understand, but then again, that's why you're called BOYS. BOYS and GIRLS take things differently.
At least have some sensitivity, and stop being misogynistic :)
Gee thanks for the sexist comments Arizza.
But I do get your point, thats probably why Mr. Roberts gave us a link to a [lets admit it] Girly site. Because it affects them more, or at least they're more emotionally vulnerable :P.
The whole "beat them up and take they're lunch money" is quite stereotypical aswell... I wouldnt see you as a bully if you did that, you would just be cheap. I understand a little bit more about the differences there are, but its the same sort of principal for both sexes. Just shrug it off and move on.
The people (if you want to actually call them 'people' seeing as they're so stupid and rude) who write these nasty comments definitely have some kind of self-esteem issue or something like this has definitely happened to them and they just want to take it out on some innocent person who is trying to fit into sociality. I agree with both what the boys have said as well as the girls; that the victims shouldn't take it TOO personally and go into catatonic depression :p but just to move on. Also that girls are a lot more sensitive and emotionally more vulnerable than boys so they probably wont be able to just move on or ignore these cheap jabs taken at them to try and destroy their confidence.
Well, personally I think its not that bad a way for some clearly distubing young women to unleash their anger, rather than regular catfights where people can actually et hurt as well as lose dignity in (for argument's sake) front of a larger audience.
Im not saying it's good, but I think it could have been worse.
Ok.. weird to say it on a blogsite, but i've been bullied over the net, and trust me it isn't difficult.. infact i think it's much easier to bully someone over the net/sms/technology because you can constantly bully them. I think it's just ghastly how popular it's getting and i'm glad i don't know anyone who does it. It's disgusting actually, to just pick on someone and make them feel terrible, i've seen some very severe cases and let me tell you, it's scarring to see people rip themselves into pieces internally just because of a couple of b******.... lol i'm censoring myself :D but back to topic, it's very serious and it IS not AT ALL a civil thing to do
I totally disagree with the whole bullying thing, but honestly you guys, just yesterday these 10 and 9 year old english girls in my bus were bullying an asian girl by eating all her food and then calling her things like unibrow and swine flu girl and laughing at her and saying all sorts of really rude things.. I atually had to get in and stop them and got them to like ignore each other because they wouldnt say sorry! It was horrible! and the asian girl was telling me to ignore it because for her she said it was nothing new! :(
Ishitha, I'm sorry you've experience online bullying :(
Get Myra to sort them out for you - she can bring her gang along for back-up :p
Zaina, I'm glad to hear you stood up for that girl. Please have a word with that girl's form tutor - because she must be miserable if it's happening every day.
Well, some think that it is "cool" to show their fun-making skills either in school or the web. But really, is it as cool as it seems? Put yourself in her place and think.
This reminds me of 'The Beauty and the Geek' where they dress the girls in nerdy outfits and ask them to go a party dressed like that. The girls realize the effect, bullying and passing nasty comments on to someone, can have on a person's self-confidence. How low it can make one feel. And how ashamed of herself for no reason at all.
But talk about cyber-bullying, it is equally depressing.
Personally, I'm against cyber bullying as I consider it-forgive me for using the word-very pussy-like.
However, like it or not cyber bullying DOES have an effect on most people - especially girls as we tend to get emotionally hurt or offended very easily.
Even if someone you really don't care about comments on a picture of you saying "What went wrong man?!", you tend to think about it more than once.
Boys are considered to be less of cyber-bullies and more face-to-face physical bullies,whereas girls are considered to be the opposite.However, even being a girl I'd rather beat someone up and insult them to their face rather than doing it over msn/facebook/myspace. But that's just me I guess
:P
Basically, according to me.. a cyber bully is someone who seriously needs to get a life, get more confident of him/her self and stop messing around with other peoples minds cause he/she has nothing better to do due to being a sad loser.
:)
Knowing someone who was cyber bullied myself, I think that people take this WAY too lightly. I noticed that alot of the guys who have commented on this are just like "meh whatever move on & forget about it". Sure, anyone can do that if it's one thing being said, but the thing with bullying is, it's not just the one thing. Constantly being put down and having your flaws pointed out for the world to see, or so you feel, is nothing that you can just get over, or move on from. Men tend to be able to hide their emotions better than women, in gernal terms, & they can usually take jokes about personal things better. Girls, you know they can. If someone calls a girl fat, sure, we may laugh it off but in our minds, we're already planning a diet.
The real issue with cyber bullying is that there is no escape. You can block them on msn, you can delete them on facebook, yeah sure. That doesn't mean that they can't write polls about you, or redo your photos. As well as that, people of our age, it doesn't matter what's true or false, people believe what they want to believe.
It doesn't matter how many times that you tell the victim that the bully is shallow or has no life or is jealous or whatever, with the amount that their self esteem has been knocked, they will never believe you. Girls are the worst. If guys have a problem with eachother, they will just punch eachother and it's pretty much done. (Not that I'm premoting violence) but with girls; you have the whole "she said he said" drama filled bitchy sessions.
Cyber bullying is only for those who are too afraid to say it to the victims face, but it doesn't make it any better, if anything at all, it can make it worse.
Well some girls generally are actually malicious. If you take Social Class in school it’s the Popular first, the middle is people or students who don’t classify as being a nerd, dork etc and nor popular and last but not the least the unsociable group because of different personalities looks and characters. The popular girls feel they need to bully the lower class because they feel insecure and fear that one day they would take their place or make them feel inferior. Doing it on cyberspace makes it easier for them.
Ooh, I've been through stuff like that! They're called trolls, and seriously are the bane of my internet life 8|
I haven't faced any bullying from a girl, but I have from guys. While we're on the topic, I think I should share this:
I made a video mid-September, pertaining to what I think would make the world a better place (video challenge). Aaand, apparently I am an ugly brown piece of s*** whose whole ~race is a stain upon the earth and whatnot. OH, also, he wouldn't let me blow him even if I paid him $100.
Charming son of a somethingican'tsay, isn't he?
My point is that you can't really help cyber-bullying. The best way to fight it is to not acknowledge them at all.
However, do feel free to cuss them out in your heart <3 It's satisfying.
A bully is a person who has nothing to be confident about so he/she deliberately intimidates weaker people to prove he/she is strong.
Some girls don’t get affected by insulting comments they just laugh it off but most girls get deeply offended by such comments. Like Rachel said “If someone calls a girl fat, sure, we may laugh it off but in our minds, we're already planning a diet.”
A bully (cyber-bully) should step into that girls shoes and see what it actually feels like.
Girls act like ANGELS in school but when nobody sees them, they can turn into DEVILS! Haha :P
I think in this part of the world, there are not that many cyber bullies when comparing to the U.K. I find that girls here are ALOT more civilized than SOME girls I have seen in England.
I don't know of anybody who has experienced this. I think that people who do suffer from cyber bullies should completely ignore it. If they start to feel unsecure then they could give the social network sites a break for a while untill everything has settled down. I guess most girls arn't violent and do not sort their problems out by getting physical therefore cyber-bullying is one method girls use to feel satisfied.
I think this article should be framed to show everyone that boys arn't the only trouble makers around!
Cyber bullying is quite common-I'm pretty sure that all of us have bullied, witnessed bulling or even been bullied. And later we all justify ourselves by saying that, "She/he deserved it, etc.". What we are showing is that we are just scared wimps. Any person can bully online, but it takes a person of real character to stand up to someone and say the same thing on a person's face. And maybe that is probably why girls are more into cyber bullying. It's just like how the old saying goes, "It takes a man to do this...or be a man!, etc.". It's true isn't it. Girls don't have the guts to go and buuly another person on their face and so do it online where no one will know who they are and they will not have to face ay concequences (atleast most of the time). All I can say is that- GIRLS ARE COWARDLY!Which is a sham because they waste so much energy in arguing how "strong" they are.
The cyber bullies may find cyber bullying very amusing by spreading fake rumors about people but it actually hurts a person deep down especially if the people are really sensitive and generates low confidence and self esteem of a person which could in the future affect the person’s life.
I have never been cyber bullied but I have been bullied in the school bus in my previous school when I was first grade. Most of the days these girls older to me used to bully me but thankfully my sister (who was older than the group of girls) used to always come to my rescue. And I really used to enjoy when my sister threatened them about complaining about this bullying situation to the principal.
I agree with Rachel, some of these things are taken too lightly. It is mainly girls doing it to other girls but it still doesn't make it any better. You can't escape the internet as it is now a huge part in everyones daily lives. It's alot worse to know that you can't get rid of them completely so you're left feeling powerless and in a way, weaker than them. It knocks peoples self esteem too much and they never really know how to react in these situations.
People are much more comfortable communicating with people without looking at them. Yet in person, they are rather more cautious of the things they say.
It's rather an unwritten rule that girls don't insult girls in person. Majority wise. Instead, they just gossip.
Any girl who uses the computer frequently have been victims of being bullied.
I have been bullied.
Females are over dramatic creatures! They whine about it, tell their friend, seek comfortation, get over it the next day.
cyber bullying hmmm yeah i have seen a lot of this on facebook its pretty sad for girls to go through it because we tend to take alot of things seriously when compared to guys making us very emotional. Well just the other day a girl used my pictures as her pictures on facebook and i had no idea until a random person told me about it. When i question this girl she gave me a list of insulting words and said "your mistaken the pictures are me"...well im clearly not mistaken because i know how i look..i immediately reported her on facebook no action has taken place yet...This experience was really an eye opener to the extents that people can actually go to even if you dont know them....the internet is very impersonal we should make sure to secure the pages and pictures people see or else report them on facebook since a lot of us use it.
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